Beyond the Basics
As a high school or college student stepping into the role of a mentor, you’ve probably heard the usual advice: be a role model, be a support system, and be a good listener. These are all valid, but if we're being real—this advice can sometimes feel surface-level and leave you wondering what it actually looks like to be those things.
In this post, we're diving deeper. Being a role model, support system, and good listener is just the beginning. We'll explore five overlooked qualities that flesh out this foundational advice and can truly transform both your mentoring experience and your mentee's journey.
1. Focusing on Progress, Not Perfection
Show Your Mentee That It’s Human to Make Mistakes
Perfection isn't the goal in mentoring—commitment to growth is. Both you and your mentee will face challenges, and that’s okay. What’s important is how you respond. Instead of striving for flawlessness, accept that mistakes are an inevitable part of the journey. Setbacks present opportunities to teach your mentee that real growth comes from effort, not from getting everything right the first time.
By acknowledging your own limitations and giving yourself grace, you create a more forgiving environment for both you and your mentee. This encourages them to keep going, even when things get tough.
2. Reaching Out for Help When You Need It
Role Models are Resourceful
As a mentor, one of the best ways to set a strong example is by showing your mentee that you don’t have all the answers. Demonstrating that it’s okay to seek advice, leverage your network, and find creative solutions when faced with challenges teaches valuable lessons. Resourcefulness shows your mentee that collaboration and asking for help are strengths, not weaknesses.
At DREAM, we believe in the power of community. Our mentors have access to various levels of support—whether it’s connecting with peer mentors in their local chapter, receiving guidance from Youth Service Managers, or tapping into the broader organization for personal development. To be a mentor at DREAM means you’re never in this alone, and neither is your mentee!
3. Partnering with Caregivers
It Takes a Village to Support Your Mentee
A mentor’s relationship with their mentee’s caregiver is often overlooked but crucial. Caregivers usually know their child better than anyone, and by involving them when possible, you show that you’re truly invested in your mentee’s personal growth, building trust.
As a mentor, you’re an additional source of support to what’s already in place. Sam Gardner, a DREAM mentor alumni, described how partnering with Jacob Mayotte’s father opened doors to new possibilities for his mentee:
"I had gone to summer camps in high school, which had helped me become more independent… Jacob’s wonderful father, Steve, was hugely supportive of this from the get-go. The three of us worked together to register him for a week-long soccer camp at Notre Dame..."
This is a great example of how collaborating with caregivers can lead to experiences that significantly contribute to your mentee's personal growth. You’re showing your mentee that they have a whole team in their corner, cheering them on from all sides as they explore and pursue their interests.
4. Recognizing When It’s Not Personal
Being a Good Listener Takes Selflessness
As a mentor, there will be times when your mentee’s frustrations are directed at you, even when it’s not about you. It’s not always easy, but being resilient and selfless means not taking it personally.
When you step back and de-center yourself, you can listen more intently, focusing more on your mentee’s needs rather than your own feelings. This act of selflessness helps them feel heard and supported when they need it most.
By staying steady and compassionate, you become a reliable source of guidance, helping your mentee process their emotions in a healthy, productive way.
5. Honoring Your Mentee’s Path to Growth
Guide Their Journey, Don’t Control It
Mentoring isn’t about “fixing” your mentee. It’s about supporting and respecting them as a unique individual who is capable of growth. By honoring their humanity, you avoid the trap of treating them like a project.
This approach helps you build a real, authentic connection. When your mentee feels seen and valued, you both get to experience a richer, more meaningful relationship.
The Heart of Mentorship
Being a mentor is an incredible journey filled with ups and downs, but it’s also one of the most rewarding experiences you can have—just ask some of our DREAM mentors!
"...I feel so incredibly proud of these mentees, and so incredibly fortunate that I have had the opportunity to meet, learn, and grow along with them." — Jacob Shell, DREAM Boston
"I've gotten to know and develop a relationship with the Philly youth which is all I wanted. Every Friday, I look forward to seeing the mentees- they never fail to put a smile on my face, especially after a stressful school week." — Maha Hussain, DREAM Philly
"Seeing the excitement on the kids' faces when the cars pull up to the community is the highlight of my Fridays." — Sangavi Muthuswamy, DREAM Northern Vermont
At DREAM, we believe that the true essence of mentorship is not about being perfect; it’s about showing up with intention, compassion, and a willingness to grow. By embracing these overlooked qualities, a transformative experience awaits both you and your mentee.
So, take a moment to reflect on these qualities and think about how you can bring them into your next mentoring interaction. If you’re ready to make an impact, we’d love for you to join our mentoring programs and help shape the future while experiencing your own personal growth along the way!